Rites

I feel a rite coming on. . . . 

We've all got it in us, that desire for ritual.  I believe we've gotten lazy with our expressions of ritual with long established customs taking the place of fresher, and dare I say deeper enactments of what is close to the human heart.

(The one exception I see is the free-flowing rites around the Thanksgiving table, and more power to us for embracing the beauty in that sharing).

We need our own, individually created rites to mark passages, invoke aid, celebrate.  So if you are a far out kind of person, your rites can be reflective of that, and if you are of a more traditional bent, you can borrow from that richness in what you create.  Here's a couple of examples to get the juices flowing:

The Star Celebration
On a clear night, in a location outdoors and away from the effects of electric lights, place yourself standing in full view of the celestial bodies.  Then, gazing up and opening your arms wide, breathe in, celebrating the brotherhood we share with all.

That, in case you missed it, was the far out ritual.

Three Candles
This rite works nicely at the beginning of a new year, calendar or birth:
Place three candles in a row facing you, and beginning on the left, light each candle.  Saying as the first is lit, "I express my gratitude for all that has passed that strengthens me."  Saying as the second is lit, "I honor all that I have become."  Saying as the third is lit, "I embrace all the opportunities that await me in this coming year."

One last note--simple, everyday rituals carry as great a value as big statement rituals if we allow ourselves to put our hearts into them.  So go ahead, greet the sun, wash your hands of worry, blow kisses, post sticky notes, share drinks, save seats, wave good-byes, send up prayers.  Your world will be remarkably enriched when you do.

The Grease

During the days I commuted, sitting in traffic and looking for ways to distract myself from time ticking away, rude drivers, and long long lines of cars stretching out in front of mine, I listened to talk radio.  Mostly news and traffic updates and opinion pieces.  Forgettable, really.  Except for one interview with a self-help kind of guy who said things that sounded not too outrageous, with the exception of something about maintaining your chakras, which I didn't know I had, and how to deal with things going badly.  He said, in that cheerful tone early risers use when they genuinely are morning people, "Say, "That's great!'"  I couldn't imagine anything more foolish, saying what clearly isn't, is.  And then I tried it.

Un-great didn't turn into great.  What did happen with this forced bit of optimism was a sort of greasing of the wheels.  New thoughts started coming.  Helpful thoughts.  Moving forward thoughts.  Thoughts about what could be seen as good about the situation that I certainly didn't see when it happened.  So I could move forward, find solutions and not feel like the universe just shat on me. 

I recommend it.  It you find yourself stuck, you've now got grease.  And that, my friend, is very great. 

Holidays

They're playing holiday tunes in the department stores.  Just yesterday I walked into to a jazzy rendition of holiday spirit in a cozy and inviting setting we all would like to imagine to be at the heart of our seasonal gatherings.  This inspires me, this stage setting, to share what I see as the secret to a truly wonderful holiday in five simple words:

Expect less and give more.

In that order.  Because, get real, we start from our own needs and wants before we move on to seeing what we can give. Get over imagining there is a moral high ground that puts others first and set your expectations at a level that won't get in the way of genuinely enjoying ways to bring joy. 

You're going to have a hella great holiday season!

Environments

There's a commercial that's been running pretty regularly on TV featuring people who have been blindfolded and taken into a horrendously filthy house and plunked down on furniture that most dogs would refuse to sit in.  The deal is that an air freshener has been sprayed in the air before they are led in.  They're asked to comment on how the place smells.  Wonderful, of course.

It hasn't convinced me that the stuff really works.  Only fresh air smells like fresh air.  It did get me thinking about what a great job the makers of the commercials did at creating an environment.  Purely disgusting-looking, yet perceived as lovely by the actors they hired to look fooled.

If the way things look can create an environment, if the way things smell does as well, how about the way things feel?  How about the way people feel?  How about if we can set up an environment with what's going on inside us?  So that if we choose a specific thought/feeling/energy and clearly hold it, it can radiate out about us and be noticed as readily as that room spray.

I believe this is so.  I invite you to try it, play with it, indulge in choosing the highest and finest state of being that you can.  Then see what happens around you. 

Foolish Words

What's the most foolish thing you've ever said?

I started saying foolish things early, and it wasn't entirely my fault.  I regularly told people I had the milkman's ass before I had any idea of what that meant because that is what my mother told me I had.  And who doesn't believe their mother.  When my high school English teacher invited the class to offer names for her new VW bug, I mentioned it at dinner that night, and my father suggested she call it S.O.B. because she was going to sooner or later.  So I raised my hand the next day and stood up, because that's what we did when we were called on in class, and told her, my very proper teacher at my very proper girls' school, what Dad said.  You could feel the temperature drop in the room.  I also repeated a few ditties my brother taught me which I will not pass on here.  Okay, okay, just one:  Beans!  Beans!  The musical fruit!  The more you eat, the more you toot.  The more you toot, the better you feel, so eat your beans at every meal!

It turns out I'm terribly naive and hopelessly trusting.  I had no idea what I was saying or why it got the reactions it did.

I'm older and wiser now.  I know what it means to put your foot in it. 

Sadly, knowing has not been enough to keep my foot from going in: foolish words still find their way out of my mouth.

The point of this, shall I say, self-expose, is that we are responsible for the effect of our words.  If we have done damage with them, we are as liable of thievery as any other robber of goods.  We take away self-esteem, trust, hope, love. 

As powerful as is our capacity to hurt, we are capable of, if not healing the wounds our words cause, offering a balm that may be the beginning of restoration.

And so

Say it.  Say you're sorry, say you were foolish, say you didn't know what you were thinking, say you would take it back if you could even though you know you cannot.  Not expecting that you will be forgiven.  Only honestly hoping what you give with your words will make some difference.

Love What You Do

When it comes to life choices, I truly am in the do what you love camp.  I'm also in the get real camp.  First, because I haven't found actually getting to do what you love to be an overnight thing.  Second, because doing what you love doesn't mean that you'll love everything you're doing.  You might find parts of doing what you love distinctly unappealing.

What can always happen, regardless of whether or not we've grabbed that magical brass ring and live a life that features doing what we love, is to fully engage in the moments, be they ever so small, when we love what we're doing.  These seemingly insignificant acts will be life changing.  Because:

• You will enjoy the feeling of loving what you're doing and you will look for more ways to get that feeling.
• The more moments spent in loving what you're doing will result in fewer and fewer moments spent focusing on not loving your circumstances.
• You will become in charge of how you feel and so, how you live. 
• You will know what really makes the difference in the quality of your life is how you choose to live, not what you choose to do. 

Chaos

Chaos makes news.  The real news is, there is not a time on earth when there is not chaos.  The beings who survive--and thrive--on this planet are the ones who have developed the ability to live in chaos.  To find the underlying benefit in any chaotic situation, to use that gleam of hope and expectation, and move through it. 

Keep this in mind when the news makers splash their gory, scary stories in front of us.  We humans will find a way.

In peace-
Maureen